Beans, Beans, The Magical Fruit…

As a functional vegetarian in a far away from anywhere place, I have struggled to get the proper nutrition for my entire 2 years. Protein has been a big problem. My doctor put me on a baked bean diet…1 tablespoon of baked beans in the morning, 1 at night. That didn’t work out so well because baked beans come in a can, not in a tablespoon serving size, and I have yet to get a refrigerator for leftovers. I’ve added lentils to my diet. I eat an incredible amount of eggs and hope my cholesterol doesn’t get too high. I’ve also tried adding dried beans to my diet. The key word is tried. To make beans, you must soak them first for 8-12 hours first. I have a hard time remembering to put them in water, so I have a bunch of beans sitting in my box that have yet to be cooked.

This morning, I woke up at 7am and decided to have beans for dinner. For some reason I was thinking ahead, but still slow to action. I put the beans in a bowl and added water so they could soak for the day. They soaked for 8 hours, from 9-5. I had forgotten 1 little fact... they take at least 2.5 hours to boil. Shoot. Ok, so I put them on the stove and set my alarm so I remember when they should be done. Late dinner tonight…7:30. So my beans boiled and boiled and boiled. I made some soup to put them in so I had my beans boiling and my soup simmering. Then I wanted some tea, so I turned on my kettle and boiled some water. Finally, at 8:15, I tested another bean (for some reason, they just didn’t seem to get done by 7:30 like planned) and it was done. I tossed some in a bowl with some soup and sat down to eat. Arg, the beans were not really done, so I turned the hotplate back on and ate the ones in my bowl anyways. I ate my dinner and got into bed because it was freezing.

All of a sudden, I hear this noise. It sounds like something falling onto my table. I’m not sure what it was. I go over to the table and turn off the hot plate and I am hearing sparks and electrical buzz. What?!? Am I going to electrocute myself? What’s going on? All of a sudden, it’s sprinkling on my head and shoulders. What?!?

I look up to see that the steam from the 4 hours of bean boiling, 30 minutes of soup simmering, 3 minutes of water boiling, and drastic temperature drop when the sun went down has caused my tin roof to collect water in a condensed form. It is now dripping from the ceiling onto my metal table with power strip, charging camera, and charging cell phone. Yikes!!! Maybe I just wasn’t meant to eat beans.